Barkskins by Annie Proulx

So this book was given to me by my French advisor as a gift before my graduation, and I was so excited to start it that I added it to my TBR before using my jar to pick the others. Now while I was excited about this book and wanted to read it...I had no idea that while reading it I would also be hit with one of the biggest reading slumps I've felt in a long time.

I'm going to talk about this book timeline by timeline because I think that will be easier for me. Also I'll red out the text before some spoilers, but others I won't because they're not that big of a spoiler. This is going to be long, but this is probably one of the longest books I've read in a long time, and the longest book I've read that I've reviewed so I will try my best to cut down anything.

1: forêt, hache, famille (1693-1716)

     -René Sel
I really liked René's story and his character. I felt like he was just man trying to have a better life, and Trèpagny was a mean and cruel man who used him (which I'm sure was done a lot in this time periods by seigneurs). While the forced marriage wasn't great, I think by the end of it he and Mari did actually love each other, and I was so sad with how his story ended. I was screaming for justice honestly. WHAT DID HE DO WRONG TO DESERVE A FATE LIKE THAT!?
*add in the whole 'thought of brother while loving on Mari the first time?

2: "...helplessly they stare at his tracks" (1693-1727)

     -Charles Duquet/Duke
Everyone, I am SO GLAD Duquet found the fate that he did. While yes, you did have to be a little ruthless back in the day, he took it too far and was way too conniving and cruel for me to like. It was almost the perfect villain save the sharp cheekbones and deep chuckle. Didn't even love his wife, stole from people who helped him learn and survive in the New France wilderness. Glad he got a good ol' dose of karma at the end. That last sentence was *chef's kiss* delectable.

3: all these woods once ours (1724-1767)

     -René & Mari's kids
Honestly, I felt so bad for all the Sel children because they had both their parents (I know Mari's older children weren't René's but he treated them nicely), both of them taken away, one from a sickness and one from being *spoiler alert* MURDERED AND SCALPED! And then Renardette comes in again to screw them out of their home, have to travel to a new land they only knew from stories their mother told. I really did feel bad for them and wanted them to stay in their home, because after leaving there things just went...to s***. Almost feels like my life a bit with how they can't catch a break.

4: the severed snake (1756-1766)

     - Duquet children
It didn't come as a shock to me that I liked Duquet's children better than him, but I still don't really...like most of his children. I liked Bernard, and that's because of Birgit (and that's also all I can say about that unless I spoil a real big shocker). I do think his son's cared more about the relationships they made with the people around them instead of just going for the pursuit of money, but they still did everything for the sake of money. Also...I almost relate to Outger in a sense. I can't put my finger on it but I feel a strange connection to this man. Maybe it's because I'm locked in my house and he just didn't leave his until the end. Guess I'm Outger/Etdidu Duquet.

5: in the lumber camps (1754-1804)

     - Kuntaw (Achille's son) and his grandchildren
I felt bad for this family. Tommy having had a somewhat difficult childhood with his mother and then not having much luck after he found his father. But at least Tommy's kids (Kuntaw's grandchildren) had a better childhood with their grandparents and uncles & aunt. I wonder what it would be like to grow up with your aunt or niece. My mother did that with a few of her relatives. I thought it was interesting to follow the life in the cutting camps and seeing the danger in them a bit more. But it was also interesting to see how Beatrix tried to bring the Mi'kmaq culture into the family's life even though there was a lot of whiteman influence.

One thing that I really got struck with while reading this was *sorry another spoiler but it's because it's important to me* ...was the death of Beatrix. She had cancer, in the stomach. And she liked horses. So did my best friend Ashley (I called her my Mama Duck because I followed her around places I didn't know). Ashley died in 2016 due to her cancer, and I wish I had more time, and spent more time with her in those last months. Sometimes I regret having gone to college so far away because I wasn't able to see her.

6: "fortune's a right whore" (1808-1826)

     - James Duke (great-grandson of Duquet)
This storyline was interesting to me. James was basically sent away because his mom died in childbirth (a common thing during that period of time) and the father apparently felt bad about it when he died and left him everything. So he went home and then fell in love with the woman he met on the trip home. Even though he thought it was amazing that she cared about his family buisness and all he had to say, I didn't trust her because she seemed shady and abusive. But James was in love with a married woman and needed to find a way to be with her. It was almost too easy for him to get rid of the husband too, to bad he *umm...spoiler* KILLED THE WRONG MAN. But love(?) found its way in the end. Didn't like Posey's father AT ALL and was glad he wasn't allowed near their daughter.

7: broken sticks (1825-1870)

     - Jinot Sel (Tommy's son & Kuntaw's grandson)
I liked following Jinot and his life. I think it was interesting to also see him recovering from his injury with Sillyboy and to then see him go into a life working for an ax company. I was a little worried with how much his boss liked him and why he was always taken along with him. And my worries were answered when he was made to come along to New Zealand. I was sad about it.

8: glory days (1836-1870)

     -family of James Duke
Now during this I liked Lavinia. She knew what she wanted and didn't stop until she got it and more. I also did like the Breitsprecher cousins and how much they liked to save trees. I was shocked how after some years the families joined in marriage but...there was money on both sides as well so *shrug*. I did give an eye-roll to naming the child Charles but that's also because I didn't like his character haha.

9: the shadow in the cup (1844-1960s)

     -Aaron Sel after father dies, as well as later generations
     -HAS A CHAPTER TITLED BARKSKINS
Aaron tried to live with his Mi'kmaw family but didn't fully feel like he belonged, then went on a strange ship voyage. On his return he finds that his family loves his and welcomes him with open arms and they all work together to help other Mi'kmaw and live together on reserves since the whiteman had taken most of their lands. Kuntaw makes a great reference to how he 'tried to be a whiteman, but his Mi'kmaw oil (whiteman was water) came up to the top'. They had to take up axes again and some even traveled into the west. Lost limbs and lives both at home and abroad.

Descendent of both Duke and Sel families is Lobert who has a child called Egga, who is abused at a boarding-esque school and runs away. He does not return on St. Anne's day each year like other Sel family members.

my thoughts:

10: sliding into darkness (1886-2013)

     - Begins with the children of Dieter and ends with the grandchildren of Lobert, so a mix of both families
Duke company going bankrupt after runaway employees (I did kind of laughed at this), and the anger caused Lavinia to go back on her word and cut more trees to the distress of New Zealanders and Dieter. Their son Charley dreams of the preservation of trees even more than Dieter and after a very bad...incident *an assault* he is moved to the tropics where he studies the trees and writes it all down on notebooks later used to destroy those trees after his death. The family started to research the history of the company and relearns the search of the heir and freaks, however then sells the company except for the Seedling Business which does well.

Egga had tried to keep his Mi'kmaw heritage away from his children because of his past but they begged him to spill. Had two strong-willed daughters, one of who goes into the eco-world and becomes well known. Cousins Felix and Jeanne join her and a small team to replant, research, and monitor new trees and try to begin growing the mystic forests once again. Though Egga's daughter, Sapatisia didn't know if they could ever save it.

my thoughts:


So the basic plot of this story was about two barkskins (woodcutters) Rene and Charles and following their two families the Sels - who more or less cared for the forest and family all together and had many troubles and trials all through life, and the Duquets/Dukes - who as a whole only cared about the business and money and thought clearing the forests than preserving it as well. Though the family lines did cross at one point and I really would have liked to see the Sel family come in and take over the company at one point. I think it would have been fun!


I give Barkskins 4 stars because I really liked the story, the Franco aspects, and the Sel family. However I really just disliked the Duke family and I think it's because they were more vain and stuff but I applaud Annie for writing them in a way that I can dislike them the same way I dislike real life people like them.

It's also turning into a TV series that is premiering today (May 25th) so now I have a new show to watch now!

Are you excited about the TV series on Nat Geo? Or have you read this book too? I'd love to talk all about it because I surprisingly really liked this.

Sorry this was so long I tried to cut it down I promise, I just had a lot to say and wanted to get the book out. If you've made it this far I applaud you and thank you as well. 

À bientôt!

Photo/Gif creds: my photo of book, Barkskins logo,

One Year Post Grad

my grad cap design

A year ago I graduated college with two bachelor degrees, one in French and the other in Media Studies Communication. It was a whirlwind four years and I miss them so much. The experiences I had, the skills and knowledge I gained, and the life-long friends that I made along the way.

I had actually wanted to post this post the actual day of my graduation but things happened so instead I am posting on the year anniversary of my graduation party that happened a week later. I also didn't know if a post like this was something that should really be posted, due to the situations surrounding all high school and college/university graduations across the globe at the moment. But I really wanted to talk about my experiences since I left Plymouth State and some of my thoughts as well.

To the class of 2020, I do say this: I am so sorry that you have had your graduations derailed due to this whole pandemic. I wish we could have stopped this in time to let you guys have that special moment of walking across a stage and receiving your diploma. And if you feel this post may not be comfortable for you to read with me talking about my own graduation, please feel free to exit the post. I will not mind, and I understand not reading things that make you feel sad or hurt. And I hope you can all make the most out of this time and what the world has given you and will give you in the future.

Friends and I at convocation

As for me, I remember working so hard towards that goal of walking across the stage. Then it finally came, and I was so nervous, scared, and sad all at the same time. I didn't want my time in college to end and I also wanted to go forward into the future. I knew I had the skills and the know-how to get through life, but was also scared that maybe I didn't know as much as I could have. What if I had missed something and that was the missing link? But I had to swallow those little fears and get my cap and gown. I went to convocation and got the award from the Communication department and got the award as the Distinguished Senior of the Media Studies degree, and even got a gift from my French advisor (with a book that I'm currently reading now!). Things seemed to be going good and I was happy with where I was.

The language department and
my French advisor, Kate.

Then the next day came, and it was time to graduate. And I did. It was a lot of stress to make sure I was there on time and made it to the spot where we walked down from. My feet hurt while we waited to go into the auditorium for the actual ceremony, but I was hanging out with the people from both my majors and my advisors so I didn't care all that much. It was a special day and I would be happy about it.

As I walked in I saw my family (my mom, sister, dad, step-mom, and nephew) all there waving STICKS WITH MY FACE ON IT! While at first I was only slightly embarrassed I laugh at it now and the leftover ones (they were many of them made) are now toys that my nephew plays with. I sat with my friend Christine as we listened to all of the speeches, and was also texting my friends about small funny things during the whole ceremony. It was a fun day, even though we were stuffed all close together and it was a decently hot day.

Looking back at the day now, I realize that I have very little photos from it. There were so many people crowding into the fields outside the building doing the same thing, and I also had to go back and take all my things out of my dorm before a certain time. I only have photos with my French advisor, parents, and sister and nephew as real graduation photos. I never got those photos done in my cap and gown while walking around campus or in a pretty local like many others do. This may also be due to the fact that I didn't finish my cap until the thursday before I walked. I get a bit sad and nostalgic for that day, wishing I had had more time to take more pictures with my friends and teachers on that day, but I know there is time still to take photos with those people, just not in the same context. And it's the people that matter the most anyway!

Back home, I gave myself about a week/week and a half before reapplying to my job that I had had for a few summers before at Party City. I needed something to bring in an income while job searching and saving up for loans. There have been many applications sent out, many cover letters written, and so many searches on LinkedIn and Indeed, and so far I have not found a career. Sometimes I wonder if my intelligence and good grades were all a façade and I actually didn't know anything that was taught to me while in school, but I know that I have those skills and knowledge to really set me over the top. My professors were the best at what they do and I'm still working to make them proud of me.

the only selfie I took that day

When this is done I will be doing a mix of reading and job searching still. I have some avenues that I have yet to travel down for job searching and plan to go there, perhaps that will bring me to that dream career that hasn't even been unlocked in my mind yet.

It's weird that it's only a year since I graduated, how did the time fly by so quickly? How will my life differ in just one more year? It's all speculative and I am both excited and scared for the future, but the excitement wins out more. I've had many rejections from jobs (luckily they weren't bad just that I was 'not picked for the position') and many that just didn't respond to me, but that won't stop me. I know I'm worth it. I'm worth a good job and a good life, so as long as I continue to fight for that and for myself, that's perfect in my book.

I've got my whole life ahead of me, and it's nice and bright.

Thank you for reading this very long and nostalgic post, and if you have any questions about my life as a student or post grad, or even want to share your feelings on being a graduate past or present, please comment below!

À bientôt!

Photo/Gif creds: all grad photos taken by me, family, or friends day of grad, kitty kiss,